If you've been hacking your lungs out for the past few weeks, congratulations — you're not alone, and no, it's not just allergies.

Reports are piling up from residents and visitors alike describing a stubborn respiratory bug tearing through San Francisco this spring. The pattern is annoyingly consistent: starts with a runny nose, escalates to a cough, settles into a sore throat that simply refuses to leave. One visitor who picked up the bug during a three-night stay in early May said it followed them all the way to Hawaii and back home — testing negative for both COVID and strep along the way.

So what's actually circulating? The likely culprits are Influenza B, HMPV (human metapneumovirus), and parvovirus B19 — all confirmed to be making the rounds in the Bay Area right now. Influenza A had its moment during the winter, but its less-famous cousin Influenza B has stepped up to ruin everyone's spring.

As one local put it, their "initial sore throat turned into nonstop hacking with mucus" that dragged on for over a week with no end in sight. Relatable content.

Of course, some perspective is warranted. One SF resident pointed out that people who catch something while traveling and then board a plane to Hawaii — still symptomatic and presumably unmasked — probably shouldn't be shocked when the bug lingers. Dry cabin air, altitude, and continued exertion aren't exactly a recovery protocol.

Here's the thing: the city's public health apparatus has been conspicuously quiet about this. No advisories, no messaging, no updates on what's circulating and what people should watch for. We spent three years building an enormous public health communications infrastructure during COVID. Where did it go? San Francisco's Department of Public Health has a budget north of $3 billion. A simple "hey, Influenza B is surging — wash your hands and maybe don't fly to Honolulu while symptomatic" doesn't seem like too much to ask.

In the meantime, stock up on cough drops, keep the hand sanitizer handy, and if you're feeling lousy, maybe skip the cross-Pacific flight. Your seatmate will thank you.