Residents across the city and broader Bay Area are reporting allergy symptoms that range from "mildly annoying" to "genuinely debilitating." We're talking nonstop sneezing, eyes drier than the city's affordable housing pipeline, and noses running with the enthusiasm of someone fleeing a Board of Supervisors budget hearing.

As one Bay Area resident put it: "Every morning I am like a fucking fountain and my eyes are so dry." Poetic? No. Accurate? Painfully so.

The culprit this time of year is a rotating cast of grasses, weeds, and late-blooming trees that carpet the region in microscopic irritants. Some locals are getting a reprieve — one resident noted their symptoms have eased up recently "because the trees I'm sensitive to are done" — but for the rest of us, the allergen buffet is still very much open for business.

Here's the thing nobody in city government is going to tell you: San Francisco's urban tree canopy, while lovely for aesthetics and climate goals, is heavy on high-pollen species. Decades of planting decisions made with zero consideration for public health impacts mean you're essentially walking through a botanical sneeze factory every spring and early summer. It's a small thing, but it's emblematic of how the city plans — prioritizing vibes over practical outcomes.

In the meantime, stock up on antihistamines, keep your windows closed, and maybe invest in one of those air purifiers you've been eyeing. The city isn't coming to save your sinuses. You're on your own — as usual.