If you've spent the last few weeks hacking up a lung, congratulations — you're not alone. San Francisco is currently dealing with elevated levels of not one, not two, but at least six different viruses circulating simultaneously. Rotavirus, norovirus, human metapneumovirus (HMPV), influenza A and B, and RSV are all showing up at high levels in the city's wastewater data. COVID, ironically, is the one sitting this round out.

Experts don't have a clear explanation for why the Bay Area is getting hit this hard, which is… reassuring. What we do know is that San Franciscans are feeling it. Hard.

As one local put it bluntly: "I am currently being ravaged by one of these fuckers." Another Bay Area resident described being sick for the entirety of March — fevers lasting ten days, ear infections, eye infections — calling it "the worst I've seen since Covid." Parents are dragging feverish kids to pediatricians only to be told there's a buffet of viral illnesses making the rounds.

Now, is "ravaged" a bit dramatic? One SF resident thought so, and fair enough — we're not exactly in Contagion territory. But when multiple viruses are simultaneously elevated in a dense, globally connected city, it's worth paying attention to. Especially when the public health apparatus doesn't seem to have much to offer beyond "wash your hands."

And that's the part that should bother you. San Francisco's public health department has an annual budget north of $3 billion. Three. Billion. Dollars. We weathered a pandemic that reshaped city policy on everything from outdoor dining to remote work. And the best guidance we're getting during a multi-virus surge is essentially what your grandmother told you in 1995?

Look, no one's asking for lockdowns or panic. But a city that spends like we do on public health infrastructure should at minimum be able to explain why this is happening and communicate clear, proactive guidance to residents. Instead we get shrugs from experts and wastewater charts.

In the meantime: wash your hands, stay home if you're sick, and maybe stock up on tissues. The city sure isn't going to do it for you.