If you want a perfect microcosm of how government operations work, look no further than Alcatraz Island, which just closed for dock repairs from April 20th through the 24th — after happily selling tour tickets for those exact dates.

Let that sink in. The National Park Service scheduled what it calls "pre-planned" repairs, and apparently nobody in the organization thought to, you know, stop selling tickets for the days the island would be physically inaccessible. Tourists — some flying in from overseas — got the bad news via a casual email. Sorry about your vacation plans. Oopsie.

As one SF resident perfectly put it: "Nothing says 'pre-planned' like 'we sold tickets for our pre-planned repairs.'"

The situation is especially rough for international visitors who built entire itineraries around the iconic island tour. One UK traveler, visiting San Francisco for the first time, was left scrambling to find a morning slot on April 25th — the only remaining day before their departure — only to find the available times didn't work with the rest of their schedule.

This is a small thing in the grand scheme, but it's emblematic of a larger pattern: federal agencies that operate like monopolies because, well, they are monopolies. Alcatraz Cruises holds an exclusive concession contract with the NPS. There's no competitor to keep them honest, no market pressure to get the basics right. When you're the only game on the island — literally — customer service becomes optional.

Meanwhile, a few locals couldn't resist joking that the dock upgrades are preparation to "return it to a prison." Given San Francisco's revolving-door approach to criminal justice lately, you can understand why the joke lands.

The fix here isn't complicated: don't sell tickets for dates you know the island will be closed. Block the calendar. Send advance notice. Offer automatic refunds and rebooking priority. This is Tourism Operations 101, and the fact that a federal agency can't manage it tells you everything about the incentive structure — or lack thereof — when there's zero competition and zero accountability.

Your tax dollars at work, folks. Now closed for repairs.