Good Morning, San Francisco

Few clouds and 54°F this morning, topping out at a balmy 58 — which, if you're keeping score, means your hoodie is staying on through lunch. Grab your coffee and settle in, because today we're talking about a city that calls itself the tech capital of the world but can't offer you a second internet provider.

Tech Capital of the World Can't Get You a Second Internet Option

Let's start with something that should embarrass every single person at City Hall: San Francisco — the city that literally invented the modern internet economy — has a broadband monopoly problem that would make a small-town cable company blush.

Residents across huge swaths of the city have exactly one option for high-speed internet: Comcast. Not Comcast or Sonic. Not Comcast or AT&T Fiber. Just Comcast. The company that routinely ranks among the most hated in America for its pricing, its upload speeds that belong in 2009, and a customer service experience that feels like a punishment for wanting Wi-Fi. People moving into new apartments are discovering this the hard way — they sign a lease, call around, and learn that the "choice" San Francisco's competitive market offers them is Xfinity or a prayer that Monkeybrains has line-of-sight to their roof.

This is a market failure enabled by government failure. Broadband competition requires infrastructure — fiber in the ground, access to buildings, permits to install equipment. And San Francisco's bureaucratic apparatus has made it extraordinarily difficult for smaller ISPs to expand. Permitting delays, building access rules, and the sheer cost of navigating city red tape act as a moat around Comcast's dominance. The city has talked about municipal broadband for years the way it talks about everything — with great enthusiasm and zero urgency. Meanwhile, cities like Chattanooga, Tennessee — Chattanooga — have gigabit municipal fiber that makes our setup look like dial-up.

Here's the thing: you don't necessarily need the government to build its own network. You need the government to stop being the reason competitors can't enter the market. Streamline the permitting for fiber installation. Mandate that new buildings provide open access to multiple ISPs. Stop letting one company hold an entire city's connectivity hostage because nobody at City Hall can be bothered to fix the regulatory environment. We host the headquarters of companies valued in the trillions, and half our residents can't switch internet providers. That's not a tech capital — that's a punchline.

The Rundown

City Hall & Politics

Safeway's SF redevelopment just got bigger — and the real question is whether the city can process permits before the next ice age. Safeway has submitted expanded plans for a store redevelopment that goes beyond its original proposal. In a city hemorrhaging retail, having a major chain increase its investment should be treated like a gift. The correct response from Planning is "yes, immediately." The likely response is a 14-month environmental review for a grocery store. We'll be watching.

California's newest transit fantasy clocks in at 140 mph — on paper, anyway. A high-speed bus service connecting SF to LA is the latest proposal, and look, the concept of dedicated bus corridors isn't insane. But this is the state that's spent 17 years and $100 billion-plus on a high-speed rail line that currently connects two places nobody was trying to get between. Forgive us if we don't hold our breath on the magic bus.

Housing & Cost of Living

$5,000 a month for a two-bedroom in the Tenderloin — no in-unit laundry, no fairy dust, just vibes and audacity. Brick + Timber continues to list rentals at prices that seem algorithmically generated by a machine that has never walked past a tent encampment. The AI boom has tightened the market, sure, but there's "supply and demand" and then there's "are you serious right now." The rental market needs more supply, not more landlords cosplaying as luxury brands.

A restaurant manager is scrambling for gig work because her fine dining spot is temporarily closing. She's got eight years of experience, a one-year-old at home, and no car. She's not looking for a handout — she's looking for flexibility. This is what SF's brutal cost of living does to skilled workers: one hiccup and you're in survival mode. The city's answer to affordability has been to add more bureaucracy to housing. How's that working out?

Culture & Food

SF's tsukemen scene is basically extinct. If you want proper dipping ramen in this city, your options have collapsed to Taishoken and... Taishoken. Iza, Shugetsu, Waraku — all gone. For a "world-class food city," losing an entire noodle category is a rough look. Maybe if ramen shops didn't have to pay world-class rent and navigate world-class red tape, they'd stick around longer.

The Great Banana Cream Pie Crisis of 2025 is real. Three Babes Bakeshop has pulled banana cream pie from the menu until June 18th, and people are coping poorly. In a city where small pleasures are all that stand between you and a $4,200 rent-induced breakdown, this qualifies as critical infrastructure.

Turning 30 and your dinner plans just imploded? Skip the Atelier Crenn fantasy and go bar-seat hunting. SF's best meals often happen without reservations — you just need flexibility and the willingness to eat at 5:15 like a retiree in Florida.

Things That Don't Make Us Cringe

Free lunchtime concerts at Union Square are back through SF Live, and this is genuinely smart public programming. No tickets, no fees, just music and foot traffic to a district that desperately needs both. Pair that with free BollyX dance fitness and free strength classes in the plaza, and Union Square is finally doing what public spaces should do: giving people a reason to show up. Cost to taxpayers: basically nothing. Value: immense. Take notes, every other city department.

Robot boxing at tech happy hours is apparently a thing now, and honestly, we respect it. Private money, consenting robots, craft IPAs. This is the innovation ecosystem working exactly as intended.

A free watercolor workshop is popping up with zero taxpayer funding involved. No grants, no consultants, just brushes and paper. We didn't know community art could happen without a seven-figure budget line. Apparently it can.

One More Thing

May Gray has officially arrived — the coast is 55 and foggy while Walnut Creek is already sweating through dress shirts. If anyone asks why you moved here, just tell them you're paying a premium for natural air conditioning and mystery. ☁️