A longtime Portola/Bayview resident recently learned this lesson the hard way — not because she forgot, but because her neighbor apparently never got the memo. After parking her car in a perfectly legal, non-obstructive spot on a public street, she returned to find her passenger-side door handles deliberately damaged. No note. No conversation. Just property destruction from someone who apparently believes the curb outside their home is sovereign territory.

She called the police, of course. And of course, it's unlikely they'll actually respond. Because in San Francisco, vandalism is basically a victimless crime — at least as far as enforcement is concerned.