For the uninitiated, speedrunning is a gaming term — players try to complete a video game as fast as possible. Apparently, someone decided the concept translates well to trespassing on private property, and copycats have followed.

Church officials say multiple groups have attempted to gain entry to the building, turning what should be a quiet religious facility into something resembling an obstacle course for internet clout.

Look, we get it. Scientology is a punching bag in popular culture, and San Francisco's relationship with the organization has always been… complicated. But here's the thing: trespassing is trespassing. It doesn't matter if the building houses Scientologists, Presbyterians, or a particularly aggressive HOA. Property rights are property rights, and you don't get to violate them because TikTok told you it'd be funny.

This is actually a decent litmus test for whether you take individual rights seriously or only when it's convenient. You can think Scientology's teachings are absurd. You can criticize their tax-exempt status until you're blue in the face (and honestly, we'd probably join you on that one). But the moment you decide certain property owners don't deserve the same legal protections as everyone else because you find them weird, you've lost the plot.

SFPD presumably has about nine thousand higher priorities right now, which means this trend is also wasting public safety resources in a city that can't exactly spare them. Every officer responding to a speedrun stunt at the Scientology building is an officer not responding to something that actually matters.

Do your speedruns in Elden Ring. Leave the trespassing offline.