A local couple is searching for someone brave enough to watch their 12-year-old rescue chihuahua, a toothless, man-wary British import with what they lovingly describe as "serious chihuahua energy." The gig requires multiple paid introductory sessions before you're even cleared to be alone with the animal. The posting warns, with admirable honesty: "This is for your safety and his."

Let's appreciate the transparency here. This is a dog who bites when upset, has limited teeth (so choking is a concern during meals), generally ignores other dogs, and is "very very wary of men." He was previously walked alongside a Saint Bernard in the UK, which is frankly the most British thing we've ever heard.

Now look — we're a publication that believes in free markets and voluntary exchange, and this is the free market working beautifully. Someone has a very specific need, they're willing to pay for multiple trial runs, and somewhere in this city of 800,000 people there's a chihuahua whisperer waiting for exactly this opportunity. No government program required. No taxpayer-funded pet care subsidy. Just two people putting out an honest job listing and hoping for the best.

And honestly? We respect the couple's approach more than most city hiring processes. At least they're upfront about the dangers of the position. Try getting that kind of candor from a SFMTA job posting.

The sitter will need to work out of the couple's Russian Hill apartment — so add "commute to one of SF's steepest neighborhoods" to the job requirements. Coverage is needed for a wedding in September and a longer holiday in November, with potential ongoing work for those who survive the vetting process.

If you're experienced with what the owners diplomatically call "the fiesta side of chihuahuas" — and let's be honest, that's a Hall of Fame euphemism — this could be your calling. Just maybe wear long sleeves to the interview.