Meet Chonkito, the Steller sea lion who's been claiming prime real estate on the Pier 39 docks lately, apparently auditioning as understudy to the internet's beloved Chonkers. He's not quite as massive as his famous friend — hence the diminutive name — but make no mistake, "not as chonky" is relative when you're talking about a Steller sea lion that dwarfs every California sea lion on the dock like an SUV parked among Priuses.

Chonkers, the absolute unit who became a viral sensation this year, has been making sporadic appearances as he presumably gears up for his seasonal trek to Alaska. Fans have been anxiously monitoring the Pier 39 live sea lion cam like it's election night returns. As one SF resident put it, "You'll know when you see him — if you have to wonder if it's him or not, it's probably not."

The whole phenomenon is genuinely heartwarming and — dare we say — a lesson in what San Francisco does well when it gets out of its own way. No one formed a committee. No one allocated $4.7 million for a sea lion engagement study. The animals just showed up, the market responded, and now Pier 39 has a tourism draw that costs the city precisely nothing.

One local joked that you should "contact Chonker's publicist" if you want scheduling details, which honestly tracks — this sea lion has better PR than half the city's elected officials.

With Chonkers potentially making one last curtain call before heading north, the question now is whether Chonkito can carry the show solo. As another resident asked, "We need a name for the second one. Is there a way to tell them apart easily?" Well, the people have spoken, and Chonkito seems to be sticking.

Here's to the rare San Francisco story that's all upside: free-market tourism, zero bureaucratic overhead, and a couple of massive sea lions reminding us that not everything in this city needs a permit.