Chonkers, the gloriously well-fed pinniped who has become something of a local celebrity in the Bay, has been spotted recently with what observers are calling a "potential lover." That's right: a sea lion is having a better romantic life than most of us paying $3,000 a month to split a two-bedroom in the Sunset. Good for him.

In a city where the news cycle is an unrelenting parade of budget deficits, transit delays, and enforcement agencies citing people for tiny acts of self-expression, Chonkers is the palate cleanser we desperately need. He doesn't ask for grant funding. He doesn't need a commission to study his housing situation. He simply exists — magnificently, unapologetically fat — bobbing around the Bay and minding his own business. A true libertarian icon, if you think about it.

And the people love him for it. San Franciscans, starved for something wholesome in their feeds, have rallied around Chonkers with a fervor usually reserved for arguing about bike lanes. The sea lion has captured hearts across the city precisely because he represents something increasingly rare here: a public figure who delivers on expectations, costs taxpayers nothing, and never once held a press conference to take credit for someone else's work.

Now, the romance angle. Details are scarce — marine biologists haven't confirmed whether this is a serious relationship or just a situationship — but we wish Chonkers nothing but the best. If two sea lions can make it work in this economy, in this Bay, maybe there's hope for the rest of us.

So here's to you, Chonkers. In a city that often feels like it's run by people who've never had to balance a checkbook, you're the honest, no-nonsense leader San Francisco deserves. Keep doing absolutely nothing productive. It's still more than most of our elected officials manage.