The perennial question has surfaced again — Schubert's Bakery on Clement Street versus Noe Valley Bakery for a birthday-worthy chocolate cake that doesn't taste like you're eating a bag of sugar. After polling the locals, the verdict is surprisingly lopsided.

Schubert's: The People's Champion

Schubert's, the 114-year-old Richmond District institution, is running away with this one. The two cakes drawing the most love are the Fuerst Pueckler and the chocolate truffle torte. As one SF resident put it, the torte is "super decadent — it's one of those have a small slice and feel like it's almost too much kind of cakes. My chocolate loving partner was in heaven." That's exactly what you want for a birthday: a cake that makes you question your life choices in the best possible way.

Noe Valley Bakery, meanwhile, has its fans for pastries and bread, but the chocolate cake appears to be more divisive. Several locals reported it didn't quite hit the mark for serious chocolate lovers.

The Dark Horse Picks

A few other names worth knowing: Miette on Octavia gets strong endorsements for their Scharffen Berger cake — especially if you're in the "not too sweet" camp. Hahdough is earning a cult following for their cakes across the board. And for the true splurge artists, Dandelion Chocolate offers a cake that'll run you about $100, which — in a city where a one-bedroom costs $3,500 a month — almost feels reasonable.

The Bottom Line

This is one of those rare San Francisco questions with a clear answer: Schubert's. It's old-school, it's reasonably priced by SF standards, and it's been doing this longer than most city agencies have existed — and with considerably better results. Go get the torte. Thank us later.