Let's start with the lobster roll question, because it comes up constantly. San Francisco is not, historically, a lobster roll town. That's New England's thing. But a handful of spots do it justice. New England Lobster Company down in Burlingame is worth the short drive — it's a no-frills market-style setup with legitimately excellent rolls, both Connecticut (warm, buttered) and Maine (cold, mayo-dressed) style. Closer to the city, Woodhouse Fish Co. in the Castro and Fillmore serves a solid rendition that won't require a BART trip. And Sam's Chowder House in Half Moon Bay makes a strong case for combining your lobster roll quest with a coastal drive.

But here's the real editorial take: if you're in San Francisco and only chasing lobster rolls, you're leaving money on the table — which, as fiscal conservatives, we hate. The Dungeness crab (in season), the local oysters, the cioppino at Sotto Mare, the fish tacos from any decent truck near the Outer Sunset — this is where the city's actual seafood identity lives. You'll get more bang for your buck and a more authentic Bay Area experience.

San Francisco's food scene is one of the few areas where this city genuinely delivers incredible value if you know where to look. Skip the $47 tourist trap at Fisherman's Wharf, venture into the neighborhoods, and eat like someone who actually lives here.

Happy birthday. Now go get some crab.