If you've been moping around complaining there's nothing to do in San Francisco, we have no sympathy for you this week. Like, none.

The city is throwing basically everything at the wall from Tuesday through Sunday — and somehow most of it sticks.

Let's start with the headliners: Giants Opening Day is back, which means McCovey Cove, overpriced garlic fries, and the annual collective delusion that this is finally our year. Go off, kings.

Then there's the SF Chocolate Festival, which is exactly what it sounds like and requires zero further justification. You go. You eat chocolate. Life is briefly good.

The Renegade Craft Fair returns for those of you who want to spend money on things you definitely didn't know you needed — hand-poured candles, ceramic mugs with feelings, the works. It's a good time and the vendors are genuinely talented.

The California Academy of Sciences turns 173 this week, which is honestly wild to think about. The institution predates the Golden Gate Bridge by about 65 years. Go celebrate a rare SF institution that actually delivers on its mission.

For the more eclectic among us: there's a clown parade (no further context provided, no further context needed), a hole-digging party (same), and a No Kings march for those who like their weekends with a side of civic energy.

Rounding things out: live music from Radio Sofia, the surrealist absurdity of Señor Babyhead, and roughly a dozen other happenings scattered across the city.

San Francisco gets a lot of grief — some of it from us, frankly — but weeks like this are a reminder that the city's cultural engine is still firing. Eighteen events in seven days is not a fluke. It's a city that, whatever its very real problems, still knows how to throw a party.

Get outside. Touch grass. Eat some chocolate. Pet a penguin at Cal Academy.

You've earned it.