Here's a sentence you shouldn't have to write in a major American city in 2025: volunteers are building and installing their own bus stop benches because San Francisco's government can't — or won't — do it.

The SF Bay Area Bench Collective has been quietly dropping simple, sturdy benches at bus stops across the city, from the Excelsior to Fillmore and Geary, and residents are thrilled. Not cautiously optimistic. Not conducting an environmental review. Thrilled.

One local resident summed up the vibe perfectly: "I always feel so bad for elderly folks and children sitting on the small ledge of my door step. We need benches at bus stops!" Another longtime San Franciscan put it more bluntly, noting that after nearly forty years in the city, aging and chronic pain have made navigating benchless streets nearly impossible: "IT SUCKS."

Let's sit with the absurdity for a moment. San Francisco's annual budget is north of $14 billion. Muni has hundreds of bus stops. And yet it takes a grassroots collective with some lumber and rustoleum spray paint to provide a basic amenity that virtually every other functioning city on Earth considers standard infrastructure.

This is what happens when a bureaucracy optimizes for process over outcomes. Installing a single city bench likely requires permits, accessibility reviews, community input sessions, environmental assessments, and a contractor bidding process that takes longer than some pregnancies. Meanwhile, a group of citizens with power tools gets it done in an afternoon.

The kicker? Residents are now adopting these guerrilla benches — touching up graffiti with matching spray paint so the city doesn't have an excuse to rip them out. That's right: people are doing volunteer maintenance on volunteer infrastructure because they trust their neighbors more than their government to keep things functional.

We're not anti-government here. We're anti-government-that-charges-champagne-prices-for-tap-water-service. If the city wants to earn back credibility, here's a radical idea: instead of removing these benches, match them. Put a bench at every high-traffic bus stop within six months. Set a budget. Execute.

Until then, the Bench Collective is doing the Lord's work — and the city's job — for free. The least San Francisco can do is stay out of their way.