If you haven't checked in on Pier 39's K-Dock lately, you're missing out on San Francisco's most unapologetic freeloader — and for once, we're not talking about a city supervisor.
A massive Steller sea lion has been spotted sprawled out on the docks this week, giving himself a leisurely belly scratch while his smaller California sea lion cousins lounge nearby. The big guy has apparently decided that the tourist-friendly platform is now his permanent residence, and frankly, nobody's going to argue with something that weighs upward of 1,500 pounds.
As one local put it, "This is what happens when you declare yourself a sanctuary city." Hard to argue with that logic.
The Pier 39 sea lions have been a fixture of San Francisco since they first colonized the marina docks in 1990, and they've arguably done more for the city's tourism economy than most economic development programs the Board of Supervisors has ever dreamed up — all without a single grant application or environmental impact report. The Marine Mammal Center estimates the animals draw millions of visitors annually. Not bad for a bunch of pinnipeds who contribute exactly zero dollars in tax revenue.
The Steller sea lions are the real showstoppers, though. Significantly larger than the usual California sea lions, they're less common visitors to the docks. This particular unit has been described by one amused SF resident as "tilting the whole damn deck" — and from the looks of it, that's barely an exaggeration.
Another local noted, "I think he lives there now with his smaller cousins," which, yeah — squatter's rights in San Francisco are basically ironclad at this point, whether you're a human or a marine mammal.
Say what you will about the smell, but at least the sea lions deliver a return on investment. More than we can say for a lot of city programs. Long live the chonky boi.
