If you're a seasoned local, you know the drill: road closures snake across the city from the Financial District through the Panhandle and into Golden Gate Park, turning normal driving routes into an elaborate maze. SFMTA has published their official closure maps, which are... adequate, if you squint.

But sparing a thought this year for the truly brave souls — like one newcomer moving to Russian Hill on Sunday who just discovered their carefully planned cross-country relocation coincides with thousands of costumed joggers blocking every street between here and there. Welcome to San Francisco. The city wastes no time testing your resolve.

So what's the actual play if you need to navigate the city during the chaos?

The Golden Gate Bridge is your friend. As one local put it plainly: "GPS will take them over the GGB. Zero impact." If your movers are coming from the East Bay via the Bay Bridge, things get trickier. The only fully open crossing point on the race route's eastern side is at Market and the Embarcadero — and expect that intersection to be a nightmare all morning.

The good news: this is an early morning event and downtown streets typically start reopening by noon. Everything east of Van Ness should be clear by 11 a.m. at the latest. So if you can tell your movers to either arrive very early (before 8 a.m.) and come via the Golden Gate Bridge, or just wait until after 11 a.m. and approach from the east, you should survive.

Here's the bigger lesson — and a free one for anyone new to SF: this city loves a street closure. Bay to Breakers, Sunday Streets, protests, Pride, parades for sports teams that haven't won anything yet. Your Google Maps will betray you regularly. Bookmark the SFMTA road closure page. Learn alternate routes. Develop the situational awareness of a cabdriver from 1987.

Bay to Breakers is one of the genuinely fun, weird, uniquely San Francisco things this city does. Just maybe don't schedule your cross-country move on the same day.

And to our newcomer heading to Russian Hill: congratulations on the move. You're going to love it here — starting Monday.