It's gosling season, folks. And if you've ever made the mistake of walking too close to a fuzzy yellow baby waddling near the lakeside at Golden Gate Park, the Palace of Fine Arts, or pretty much any body of water in the Bay Area, you already know: their parents have chosen violence.

As one local put it perfectly: "The murder chickens are angry. They will kill you."

That's not even really an exaggeration. Canada geese are 10-plus pounds of hissing, wing-flapping fury with zero fear of humans, dogs, cyclists, or anything else that dares exist within a 30-foot radius of their offspring. They don't negotiate. They don't de-escalate. They simply attack.

So consider this your annual public service announcement. For the next several weeks, give geese families a wide berth. If you see goslings, reroute. If a goose starts doing that low-neck, head-forward thing, that's not curiosity — that's a threat assessment, and you failed.

Here's the thing: we love wildlife in the city. It's one of the genuinely cool things about living in San Francisco. But nature doesn't care about your morning jog or your lakeside meditation routine. These birds were here before your favorite coffee shop opened and they'll be here long after it closes — probably because the permitting process outlasted the lease.

No government program can save you from an angry goose. This is between you and nature. Exercise personal responsibility. Stay alert. Give them space.

And whatever you do, don't try to pet the babies.