We need to talk about the dogs.

Not the ones on patios, leashed under a table at a brewery, minding their business. Those dogs are fine. We're talking about the dogs sitting on booth seats at In-N-Out. The dogs lying on tables at restaurants. The animals that, however adorable, have absolutely no business being where people eat food off flat surfaces.

This isn't a new complaint in San Francisco, but it's one that keeps getting worse because nobody — not management, not health inspectors, not fellow diners — seems willing to enforce a pretty basic rule. And it is, in fact, a rule. California Health and Safety Code prohibits live animals inside any food facility, with narrow exceptions for service animals. Not emotional support animals. Not your very well-behaved goldendoodle. Service animals trained to perform specific tasks.

As one SF resident put it bluntly: "There's a reason why dogs aren't allowed indoors at any establishment that prepares food — it's state law." Another local recalled watching a server have to ask a couple to remove their dog from a table where it was fully lying down: "It's not even about liking or disliking dogs. It's pure entitlement and lack of situational awareness."

And look — we get it. San Francisco is a dog city. We love our dogs. But loving dogs and believing they should sit on restaurant furniture where the next customer puts their elbows are two very different things.

The real failure here is enforcement, or rather the complete absence of it. Restaurant managers are terrified of confrontation. Employees don't want to get yelled at by someone claiming ADA protections that don't actually apply to their situation. And city health inspectors? Good luck finding one proactive enough to address this before someone files a formal complaint.

This is what happens when laws exist but nobody bothers to enforce them — people fill the vacuum with whatever they feel like doing. It's a microcosm of a larger San Francisco problem: rules on the books, zero follow-through, and a culture that mistakes permissiveness for kindness.

Your dog is great. Leave it outside, or on the patio. The booth seat is for humans.