You just survived another tax season. You watched the government help itself to your hard-earned money — again — and now you deserve to help yourself to something enormous, medium-rare, and dripping with butter. The only question: where in San Francisco can you find the biggest slab of beef possible?

We asked around, and the people have spoken.

The Classics

House of Prime Rib is, predictably, the consensus king. The HOPR experience — the silver cart, the spinning meat, the creamed spinach — is basically a temple to American excess, and we mean that as the highest compliment. As one local food lover put it, "If anywhere has an end-of-tax-season vibe, it's gotta be HOPR." You can order extra cuts until you physically cannot continue. The IRS took enough from you; take it back in prime rib.

Harris' Steakhouse on Van Ness is the dark horse pick for purists. Their 24-ounce porterhouse is a serious piece of meat at a serious steakhouse — old-school San Francisco at its finest. No gimmicks, just beef.

Go Big or Go Home

If a single steak isn't enough (respect), the Brazilian churrascarias — Espetus and Fogo de Chão — offer the all-you-can-eat model, which is really the only economic system we fully endorse. Unlimited meat, brought directly to your table on swords. Peak civilization.

For the truly ambitious, Niku Steakhouse in SoMa serves a bone-in tomahawk that's technically meant for two or three people. But this is America, and "meant for" is a suggestion, not a regulation.

The Bottom Line

Look, we spend half the year writing about wasteful government spending and misallocated tax dollars. This is the one time we'll tell you to be fiscally irresponsible. You've earned it. Go drop $100 on a steak the size of your forearm and remember what it feels like to choose exactly where your money goes.

Happy post-tax season, San Francisco. Eat well.