After digging through local chatter and doing some, shall we say, editorial research (calories don't count when it's journalism), here's where things stand.

Curry Hyuga in Cupertino appears to be the consensus pick. Multiple locals swear by it, and one Bay Area food lover who claims to have tried every major spot in the area put it simply: Hyuga is "definitely the best." The curry has depth, the katsu has crunch, and the portions respect your appetite. If you're making one trip, make it here.

Demiya is the reliable second option — solid across the board, good for groups, and consistently praised. Curry Life draws fans too, though it seems to occupy the "decent but not life-changing" tier. Think of it as your Tuesday night spot, not your birthday spot.

For the adventurous, Amazing Katsu in Santa Clara apparently does a pork loin and cheese katsu that slaps — but it's takeout only, so plan accordingly.

Now here's what we couldn't help but notice: almost all of these recommendations cluster in the South Bay. As one local put it with admirable honesty: "Anyone have recs for SF? Asking for a friend. It's me. I'm asking for me." Same, friend. Same.

The fact that San Francisco — a city that spends billions and can't keep its streets clean — also can't seem to support a world-class katsu curry spot is a minor tragedy. Meanwhile, Cupertino quietly delivers. There's probably a lesson in there about which local governments create environments where small businesses actually thrive, but we'll let you connect those dots yourself.

Happy eating, Bay Area. Your tax dollars may be wasted, but your curry dollars don't have to be.