Every few weeks, the Bay Area's collective road rage boils over into a familiar debate: who are the worst drivers? Is it the Tesla bros on autopilot (spiritually, if not literally)? The BMW owners who apparently paid extra to have their turn signals removed at the dealership? The Nissan Altima with a bumper held on by faith and zip ties?

The answer, according to anyone who's actually driven across the country, is: we're bad, but we're not that bad. A recent 7,700-mile road trip spanning 26 states confirms what your Philly-born uncle has been saying for decades — New Jersey takes the crown. Terrible roads breed terrible drivers, and the Garden State has been cultivating both for generations.

But before we start patting ourselves on the back, let's acknowledge our signature sin: the left lane. As one local put it, "The right lane is the most underused lane in California. We might as well start building every on and off ramp into the left lane." California doesn't enforce left-lane-for-passing-only the way other states do, and it shows. Every other state? People move over. Here? The left lane is a lifestyle choice.

The real universal offenders, though, transcend geography. Giant pickup trucks top the list — behemoths whose drivers feel invincible enough to lane-hop without signaling, cut into traffic, and park across two spots like they're claiming territory. Right behind them: the young guys in loud, lowered Civics who spent their money on exhaust systems instead of driving lessons. Your car announces your arrival from three blocks away, bro. We know you're coming. We just wish you weren't.

As one Bay Area resident wisely noted, bad drivers are everywhere — go to any city's forum and everyone swears they have the worst. It's the great American unifier. We can't agree on politics, housing, or public transit, but we can all agree that the other guy on the freeway is an idiot.

The real policy takeaway? California could actually enforce left-lane discipline, and our roads would improve overnight — no new spending required. But that would require the state to prioritize practical traffic enforcement over, say, another feasibility study. So don't hold your breath. Just stay in the right lane.